<< hehehe XD

Quotes
I'm moving to Mars so, if you have any boxes.... -Steve Martin
Wrestlers are harry potter fans too -My Friend Holly read it off a newspaper thing.. I think...
Never swim in a puddle, it just makes you look silly. - MutedFaith.com
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night" -Nick Carter
"When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it
and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped" - Marcel Achard
"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today
and we don't know where the hell she is" - Ellen DeGeneres
son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire! mom: Shut up and get the marshmallows! -part of a joke.. no idea who wrote it
I hope your life is like toilet paper.. long and useful - no idea
i got more.. can't think of em..

Songs
I heard this one from the Simpsons (i think that's how goes...) and I recreated them to fit for my friends ^_^ and then...... they made one for me.

Melly is a nut. She has a rubber butt. And when she moves it goes: "Tut Tut".
Britt is insane. She is a great dame. And when she farts it makes a great game.
Awna is a pirahna. She lives in a sauna. And anyone who goes in there is a gona'.

OMG i can't stop laughing ^o^

Jokes
Ok, here are some jokes I've heard, I don't know who wrote them, I don't know where I got them, and I don't know how they go or how to spell sooooo.. anyways.. here it goes:

There are three guys. A Canadian, An American, and A Newfie. They find out about this cliff, that if you run, jump and yell what you want, you will land in it at the bottom. So the Canadian runs, jumps and yells "Gold!" and lands in a pile of gold. The American runs, jumps, yells "Silver!" and lands in a pile of silver. The Newfie runs, trips, falls, and yells "Oh crap!" and lands in a pile of crap.

((Yes I know a Newfie is a Canadian.. I know I don't know how to spell it.. that's just all I remember >_< ))

This bear and this rabbit come upon a genie in the woods. The Genie says "I will grant each of you 3 wishes. (and now wishing for more wishes ^_^ )" So the bear says: "I wish every bear in this forest was female." (and it comes true) Then the rabbit says: "I wish I had a motorcycle" and he gets a motorcycle. The bear slaps him on the head and says "Wish for something useful stupid! I wish all the bears on this continent were female. " (and it comes true) Then the rabbit says: "I wish I had a helmet." So he gets his helmet to go along with his motorcycle. The bear slaps him on the head again and says: "Wish for something useful, stupid! I wish all the bears in the woorrlld were female." (and it comes true) So the rabbit asks: "I wish the bear was gay."

LOL funny funny...

Three guys are in a plane. An American and two other men. When the plane flys over the first man's country he says: "I love my country soooo much that I'll give it this gold block" So he drops a gold block off the plane. When he gets off the plane, he finds a little boy crying. "Why are you crying?" "A gold block fell on my Daddy and now he's dead!"
When the plane flys over the second man's country he says: "I love my country sooo much that I'm going to give it this silver block." So he drops a silver block off the plane. When he gets off the plane, he finds a little boy crying. "Why are you crying?" "A silver block fell on my Daddy and now he's dead!"
When the plane flys over the American's country (The USA) he says: "I hate my country soooo much that I'm going to give it this bomb." So he drops the bomb off the plane. When he gets off the plane he finds a boy laughing. "Why are you laughing? My dad farted and the house blew up!!!"